A Journey full of expectations

It was a nice Friday evening. I was lost in thoughts. Hundreds of them running across my mind. I had a bus to catch and there was some sort of excitement in me. I had started travelling through this bus service provider after we broke up, in an expectation to see you again by accident some time. When I got to know that you are getting married , I still preferred that bus just hoping that I will see you one last time at least.

Today also somewhere deep inside i was hoping to see you. I reached the boarding point 30 mins early expecting that you might be there waiting for the same bus. You were not there and as always I had told myself today is not the day I get to see you. Bus was late by 15 min and when I boarded it was already full. I occupied my pre booked seat and started to settle myself in. Then heard a your voice, I was happy ,nervous and excited. I don't know how to describe that feeling. It was quite overwhelming. I dint know how to confirm is that you in real or some one else. Tried peeking in to see if I can get a glimpse of you. That also dint work. Since both the seats were side by side and only a curtain was separating the voice from me, I decided to stay awake and get a confirmation. I started waiting for you to step out from behind the curtain. I was lying on my sleeper seat, my eyes were fixed on the seat where I heard your voice.  The bus was in traffic and I could barely hear the voice. Still my eyes and ears were trying to figure out your presence there. I was little confused also because whenever I heard your voice my heart used to beat heavy but this time there was nothing like that. So I thought it might not be you and closed the curtain. In a minute my thoughts changed again, what if it was you and due to our brake up and after that so much mess that took place in our lives my heart might have lost that connection from your voice. My heart started yelling what will you loose if you just confirm once. I again pushed my curtain and started waiting for you. A thought passed in my mind what if I call your name loud and if you respond I will get to know. But then decided against it because most of the passengers were sleeping and if it's really you then its going to be a embaracing situation for you. The only option I had was to weight for you. I waited. Lot of thoughts ran through my mind. I was thinking what will I talk to you if its you? Will I say hi and ask how are you or will I appreciate your beautiful smile and stay stunned staring at you. I felt it might be nice if I say hi to you then appreciate your smile. Then my brain which was dead till now came  alive and said why will she even smile seeing you. She will not be happy seeing you so just close the curtain and let her be in her own world. She has moved on from where you guys had separated and you don't exist to her anymore. My heart started yelling , how do you know she won't smile or she won't be happy. She might also be waiting to see you but might have thought it's not good to do so and kept quite. Heart's logic was more dearer to me as there was hope in it for me. I decided to listen to hearts logic and continued my watch. There was a slight laughter behind the curtain and it was one of your lovely laughter's that I always remembered . Now I was getting impatient. If it was really u and I had wasted time just waiting for you to come out that means I have lost some precious moments . So decided to peep across the curtain for asking to close the window . I was not sure it was open or not but had to take chances. So thought this would be the better idea.

As I was about to do so , heard the voice again saying the bus will stop in some time and then we can go and buy some water. Again my dead brain reacted and suggested me to wait little more. This time I decided to stick to brain. I waited. The factory of thoughts started again. This time my heart had convinced my thoughts that, its you and I need to decide what will I do when we get down from the bus. My brain said just propose her once again in front of everyone and take her to home and tell the parents that you want to get married to her. I understood the sarcasm of my brain but heart said why can't I do that. I mean it's a good idea. If she agrees then all my worries are solved in one shot. Felt as if it is the right thing to do

Bus stopped and the owner of the voice came behind the curtain. Was it you ? No it was not you and all I had was a big sigh and a saddened heart. Wait still continues.